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    Sunday, July 12, 2009

    Missing the Partner

    The plants for the cat loo died during our absence. Yesterday, I replaced them with some flowers and some green. While I was at it, I bought some huge white chrysanthemums. Despite the lousy stigma that comes with them, I like white flowers because they look so pure.


    Since I was taking pics, I decided to take some of Blinky and Tiger for 'Good Fren's viewing pleasure.

    It's very difficult to get a good shot of Tiger because he keeps moving, while Blinky is just motionless or moving very s l o w l y.

    Something weird is happening. Even though it was uber difficult for me to leave 'Good Fren' in Cambridge, I've been very on the ball about getting things done/meeting people since I got back. Meanwhile, 'Good Fren' finds it difficult to be overly-enthusiastic on his own.

    In contrast, when we were back in Cambridge, I would be the 'nuah' one and 'Good Fren' would be up and about doing stuff.

    It was never so clear that we rely on each other differently.

    Maybe ultimately, we sub/un-consciously (i) subscribe to the social construct of '小女人 vs 大男人', (ii) play those roles to a tee in each other's presence, and (iii) understand very well that an efficient and sustainable partnership requires introspect, reflexivity and flexibility.

    During one of the recent catch-up dinners, a well-meaning 'elder' read the abovementioned blog entry, and thought by finding it so difficult to be apart, I had become over-reliant on my relationship with 'Good Fren'. He very gently advised me to 'have my own life', despite being with 'Good Fren'. So sweet!! So happy!! =)))

    Saturday, July 11, 2009

    Yet Another Propaganda Music Video

    Have you read about this?

    A bunch of govt-related people made yet another music video (of course at least 1 politician is in it for exposure). Propaganda.

    Like the earlier Upturn the Downturn effort, this music video is entitled 'It Starts Today'. It is launched as part of website under the same name to give encouragement to you and me, telling us that though we are going through a recession, we can rise above it and beat this recession together by submitting pledges on the website.

    I am wondering... Just exactly (1) who they are trying to target... Because having a website/music video in English limits its audience to those who know English and have access to the internet only. I am sure that cab driver who drove me back last evening ain't gonna find this helpful. He was trying to explain to me how he copes with the recession, and was writing little phrases in Chinese.

    (2) What they are trying to achieve. Does watching such a music video comfort someone who has just lost his job? Or someone who has been told to take pay cut?

    Lots of people will be giving themselves little pats on one another's recession-proof backs. "Good work! We did a good thing for those who need help!"

    Thursday, July 09, 2009

    I am Stuffed!!!

    Wednesday, July 08, 2009

    DIY/Kimchi Issoyo?

    Did I mentioned that I went to IKEA on Saturday and bought a couple of 'shelves'? According to the boy at the self-serve area, they are 'bedside tables'. O_o

    Who would have thought that a few planks weighed a ton?! Or at least it felt so... And screwing them together is tough on the fingers.

    Nonetheless, check out the difference!

    I showed 'Good Fren' the end product over the internet. Immediately, he started to wonder if we should get a 3rd set?!

    I met up with one of 'Good Fren's friend on Sunday. She's been making kimchi and decided to pass me some. It tastes really good! Not too spicy at all!

    It's been a long time since I last spent some time in the apartment. It feels... new...

    Monday, July 06, 2009

    Fond Friends Frenzy!

    I had Japanese for lunch and Korean for dinner today. I feel so East Asian. =))

    At lunch time today, I met up with a St Nicks junior whom I have not seen since 1992. That's like 17 years ago?! Facebook rocks!

    It's weird to see her again, because I can recognise the face, but those weird adult clothes and pearls looked out of place. She's supposed to be wearing a dark blue pinafore with a light off-white nametag, white blouse, sneakers and glasses.

    Somehow, there was a sense of familiarity.

    I examined her face while she was telling me about bits and pieces of her life, thinking to myself,"My friend, look at what life has done to you." I wonder if she thought the same too.

    At dinner time, I met up with 'Good Fren's friend who has become my friend over the past few years. He just had a minor op and looked a little different too. We also spoke with a sense of familiarity.

    Here's a pic I took with his LX3. MACRO!


    I remember someone once said,"Good friendships are those you can pause, then pick them up from where you left them, as though you'd never stopped."

    Another weird bit was that these 2 people are of the same age and were from the same junior college. I just happened to meet both in the same day. Since they are both single, perhaps they should get together. Just a thought... Just a thought...

    My schedule for this week is almost full. Lunches and dinners. There are so many people to catch up with. It feels like a frenzy! I am very happy to spend time with people who feel as genuine about the meeting as I do. Uppers, not downers, please!

    Sunday, July 05, 2009

    Female & Bankrupted

    Just 5 year ago, the gender ratio amongst bankrupts was, if you would, intuitive, i.e. there were more male bankrupts than female bankrupts (43.8%). Today, females make up 55% of bankrupts in the UK, and increasingly, younger females (below age of 24) join the bankrupted ranks.

    Why?

    When I first told some guys about this statistic, they thought it's because females make lousy business decisions leading to business failure and bankruptcy.

    Before the feminist in you start getting worked up about the 'sexist' perspective those guys have, take a step back. At least those guys assumed that those females became bankrupts due to attempts at running a business.

    The reality, however, is far worse than the abovementioned 'sexist' remarks. This growing group of female bankrupts are in financial trouble because of their desire to lead a certain lifestyle. The straw that broke their pretty consuming backs is made up of credit card bills and property rent/mortgage installments.

    Click HERE to read the article.


    THE SINGAPOREAN SITUATION


    In my 8 years of working in different organisations in the public and private sectors and more years of hanging around in various scenes, I've always been amazed by how many expensive items (multiple holidays, luxury goods (bags, watches, cars, electronic products etc) and services (spa/salon treatments, meals, clubbing etc), propert(ies) etc) an individual can consume, especially when the size of his/her pay check is not a mystery. Apart from those few who have wealthy connections (e.g. family, partner etc), everyone else's consumption power remains very mysterious to me.

    If we take the UK female's ambitions, i.e. live well (e.g. like the celebs), and superimpose that on the Singaporean female, the only difference is that the renting culture is not common. If rent was supposed to cost the female about an extra SGD1,000 - SGD3,000, it just means she can buy at least half a handbag more per month. That makes at least 6 handbags per year. Or perhaps... a pair of diamond ear studs? As credit card companies and jewellers like to say coaxingly to females, "You are Woman. You are strong. You reward yourself. You deserve it. Pamper yourself."

    I'm not for a moment saying that males do not suffer from this psychosis. This is not a modern malaise, but a current disease. The disgenerative condition renders one in a miserable downwards spiral. The festering of the wounds is rancid. In fact, some male 'friends' I know have approached me for a 'bridging loan' for their credit card bills, loans etc. A guy, regardless of looks and education, feels the need to be equipped with a (fancy) car to get the girl.

    I think the disease is more deadly for females because there is a lot more goods and services targeted at females. My take is that males are conditioned to think that they need certain types of products and services. They end up buying fewer but big-ticket items. Usually, a lot more research/mulling is carried out before the purchase. This is not to say the purchasing decision is rational per se, because we all know it's very easy to kid oneself. It merely means male purchases happen less often.

    On the other hand, females are conditioned to buy many versions of the same item. The cost of these items ranges. Shoes, handbags, accessories, nail colour, hairdo etc. Such repetitive action of buying takes on a life of its own. It becomes a ritual. Any disruption will lead to emotional discomfort. "I didn't spend a lot today! I merely bought 50 items at SGD20 each! I'm not materialistic. I didn't buy anything branded! In fact, I think I am a savvy shopper!"

    Of course, these gender behaviour types can be pretty 'porous', i.e. it's possible for a male to be shopaholic and/or a female to only buy big ticket items, and/or the most deadly combination of all, i.e. to be a shopaholic who fancies big ticket items. O_o But the point of this discussion is to focus on what's the majority of any group is doing.

    I think the root problem is neither the invention of the credit card, nor sophisticated advertising, nor everyone's favourite -- social pressure (Everyone is doing it, so why shouldn't I?). I remember a fellow female peer telling me that if the bank is willing to give you a loan quantum of SGD100, you should use it to the max because "the bank will not give you such a good loan when you get older." And this particular female works in a bank.

    I think the root problem is 'alienation of the individual'.
    We live in a complex system. There are formal and informal rules for everything. To get anywhere or do anything, one needs to be 'qualified'. To get a desk job, one needs to graduate from some school, put together a resume, put on some clothes, neaten visible hair, apply some colours on the face and convince the interviewer. To get a girlfriend, one needs to accumulate some cash/credit, put on some fancy clothes, enhance visible hair, buy/borrow a car, and convince the potential candidate. We are used to and accept this process. Some outcomes are more considered by the individual to be more desirable for various reasons (personal preferences, what he thinks others think etc), so sometimes one is more willing to try at something than the next.

    However, because regardless of one's motivation, one's ability is limited. Not to mention to challenge Lady Luck. One's list could have started off long and complex. But 'harsh reality' reduces that list. Some outcomes are easier to achieve than others. Many dreams on the list becomes obviously difficult to achieve, even if one was brought up to believe that he was fully qualified for those dreams. "FWAH!! Ah Girl/Boy! You are so smart, you know! You did so well for PSLE/Os/As/went to University/in this and that. You can do anything you wish! So smart! Bright future awaits!"

    Gradually, the dreamy/'impractical' items are removed from the list. Sometimes these are replaced with more 'realistic' items. Sometimes, the list just gets shorter. At some point, one realises that his list looks just like anyone else's. Graduate from university, get a desk job, marry someone, get a home mortgage, get a renovation loan, get a car loan, have the kid(s) etc. On top of dealing with his inability to ability to achieve his initial dreams, he now has to deal with being 'average', which in our culture is not acceptable. One is alienated from oneself.

    What about having a short but radically different list then?
    Somehow, the curious phenomenon is that one prefers to be different by having more than the average person, and not be different by having a lot less. Hence, if having a handbag is the norm, I want a bigger, more expensive and branded one in limited edition so that I am visibly different from the rest of the plebians walking around with the same shite. So goes for cars, wedding dress, dinner, education... (A 'friend' I thought I had was excited and chummy with me, sharing about how her husband and her were going to Cambridge for their masters together, until I told her that 'Good Fren' and I were gonna do the same.) Because of the competition, one is also alienated from others.

    This brings us back to the start of this entry. Female bankrupts on the rise in the UK. The Singaporean situation is not too different. Except that being a bankrupt in Singapore is probably more frowned upon. Though this is unlikely to discourage Singaporean females from irresponsible consumption significantly. Instead, it may push those in debt/need to spend, to pursue alternative ways to secure the same outcome.

    Females are more vulnerable in this consumption game.
    This is the bigger gender discrimination movement ever since feet-binding and bra-burning. And for most parts, it's self-inflicted.

    While it sounds 'correct' to be campaigning for battered wives, rape victims and about youth sex, I think that genre of feminist movement is outdated. With such a widespread consumption disease festering amidst the female population, doesn't it make more sense for feminist organisations devote to their resources to mitigating this so that more females can be helped? Just because it's a common problem everyone' is experiencing, doesn't make it 'ok'.
    ..............................................

    Because of the abovementioned issues, I found out that polyclinics provide counselling (psychologists) at affordable rates. If you are able to get off your ass and make it to the polyclinic for the counselling session, it's half the battle won against the disease.

    Wednesday, July 01, 2009

    Battle of Digicams

    I left my digicam with 'Good Fren' in Cambridge, so that he could use it for his internship, if necessary, while I could buy a new one in Singapore. *evil grin*

    So, I am experiencing a bit of dilemma to date. 3 options...

    The Nikon P6000


    The Canon G10


    Or the Lumix LX3?

    What say you?