On Fridays, lunch time at Raffles Place had always been extra vibrant. Most people are more relaxed at the thought of a weekend approaching. Shirley stole out of the spa for a quick bite. She bought some fish porridge from Golden Shoe and was sipping on some warm soya bean milk when she realised that the display shelf was missing something. The red bag was not there. She looked around frantically, then was resigned to fate. "不要紧啦... 本来就没有钱买... 看到有怎样..." she thought while scanning the shelves again just in case she missed it.

"今天要做serum吗? 你的皮肤有一点干hor?" Shirley asked in her soft drawl at 1pm. As she wiped her customer's face with the cotton pads, she thought about her son and how happy he would be in about 30 hours.

Su Lyn had not slept in more than 30 hours. Despite her weariness, her mind kept spinning. Unable to concentrate, she decided to take the afternoon off, hoping that a facial would help her to relax.

At the salon, somehow she noticed that her facialist bore a slight bulge.

Su Lyn: 你怀孕啊?
Shirley: 是啊! 五个月了! 你上次来没有看到 meh?
Su Lyn: 怀孕会辛苦吗?
Shirley: 看人的啦... 我第一胎很辛苦... 头晕到不可以做工... 很怕...
Su Lyn: 怕? 怕什么?
Shirley: 怕没有做工没有钱 lor!
Su Lyn: 你的丈夫 leh?
Shirley: 我们一起来新加坡做工. 一天不做, 就没有钱拿的.
Su Lyn: Oh... 你是 Malaysian 啊? 来新加坡多久了?
Shirley: 我十八岁就来做脸了. 七年了... *paused* 你leh? 结婚了没有? 还是有男朋友?
Su Lyn: 没有结婚...
Shirley: 你几岁?
Su Lyn: *softly* 三十 this year.
Shirley: 你要有baby吗?
Su Lyn: (after a pause) 要.
Shirley: 那么... 要早一点生比较好 leh...

Su Lyn faked a cough to wipe her tears surreptitiously. She then took out her mobile and entered,"Nothing. I don't want anything from you."

The gynae explained the procedure to Selene patiently and asked if she had any questions. Tapping her fingers lightly but impatiently on the desk, she asked if the procedure might endanger her life. "Having an abortion is safer than giving birth, my dear," she said and gave Selene's arm a pat reassuringly. In the reception area, the desk staff gave Selene a date and some instructions to make transport arrangements after the procedure.

Soon, Selene found herself at the cafe at the lobby of the private hospital. Everything, from the appointment-making to the registration to the consultation, moved in synchrony like clockwork. The Singaporean efficiency topped with warm smiles. While she could not ask for more convenience, she wished she did not have to go through it alone.

Su Lyn opened the door to grab the papers. Even before she could reach them, she saw the headlines on the papers. "This cannot be true," she thought. "I must be dreaming. Such things do not happen in Singapore." But it was true and surreal. While she was in the office yesterday, trying to suppress her excitement, a detainee escaped from the Whitley Detention Centre.

On her way to the office, her thoughts were of him, the baby and the detainee's escape. "Where is he? Why hasn't he replied? How did he escape? Is it even possible? Oh... Look... That person walking at the bus stop. He looks suspicious and like he is limping... Shall I call him at the office?" Morning traffic had always been conducive for reflections.

As she packed the lunch boxes, Shirley asked her husband about the housing loan.

She: 还要还多久?
He: 还有十年
She: 这样不是还要跟 Ah Boy 分开十年?
He: 你以为我很想啊? 我都跟你讲过了, 我们要趁年轻多赚一点... 不然以后怎么办? *saw her freeze from the corner of his eye* 你不要胡思乱想. 这个礼拜一定回去看 Ah Boy, ok?

Selene woke up with swollen eyes and a massive headache. As she steadied herself, she smsed her boss. He was already up and reading the papers. The silence in the living room was deafening.

She: I'm not going to work. I don't feel well... I am going to see a doctor... gynae later.
He: *looked up from his papers in frustrated resignation* This is not a decision you can make alone. I want to keep the baby.
She: *tears welling up in her eyes again and raising her voice* I don't want to talk about this again!!! You are not having the baby, I AM! So you have no right to make any decisions!!
He: What do you mean I have no right? I am the father!
She: *mockingly* HA!! FATHER?! What kind of father are you? How much do you make? Can you afford to raise a child? What are you good at?!! I make more than you, ok!! And if I lose my promotion because of this stupid kid, you think you as "THE FATHER" is going to make up for it?! You think YOU CAN?! If anything, we are not having this kid because you are just too lousy!!!

Without waiting for his reply, she stormed back into the bedroom. He was left in the living room, trembling and shattered.

It's 4pm and still no sign of him. Su Lyn was getting restless. The intern was going on and on about the detainee escape. "It must be some kind of conspiracy," he posited. Su Lyn's mind was a few blocks away, trying to pry open the sealed windows of his office unit. The partner stopped by her room and joined in the conversation. Helplessly, Su Lyn made an effort to look interested,"Yeah... I thought it's kind of stupid to ask why the authorities made the announcement only 4 hours after the escape. 4 hours? That's pretty fast, right? Something like this happens... Making a public announcement should be the last time on their minds!" And the chatter went on and on. After 15 minutes, as they walked out of her room, she dialed his office number impatiently.

She: Hello? Hello?
He: Yeah? Oh... It's you... Why did you call my office? I told you not to call me here.
She: I know... I'm sorry... I have something important to tell you. I...
He: I cannot talk now. I am busy. We talk later, ok?
She: But I...

The line went dead. Undeterred, she smsed him. "I am pregnant." And she waited.

At 11.42pm, he replied,"What the fuck you want?"

.....................................

你爱的人 爱不爱你?

Su Lyn felt a little discomfort in her throat. "Probably the haze," she thought as she flipped the papers and sipped on her morning coffee in the office at 9am. She missed him very much, and did not managed to see him last night despite waiting for at least 2 hours outside his house. He smsed this morning to say that he got home around 4am in the morning. The lack of sleep was buzzing incessantly in her head. She needed to see him. She had something to tell him in the face.

At 11.30am, the office started to get restless. Conversations sprinkled along corridors with open cubes. Selene happened to be amidst the conversation about inflation. Someone said,"What's an average inflation of 6.6% hits different stratas of people very differently! I'm sure the poorer people are struggling." Selene enthusiastically chipped in,"YEAH! La Mer sent me a brochure a few months earlier. The prices have gone up!"

There was hardly anyone in the office at 1.30pm. Su Lyn scanned the office quickly and headed for the ladies. Hidden safely in the cubicle, she removed the clear plastic cover from the box and read the instructions carefully. She had never bought a pregnancy test kit in all her 30 years, and was certain that the cashier at Watson's gave her a look. "I hope no one saw me," she thought. Footsteps echoed in the ladies, and Su Lyn froze.

The flush went off rudely in the cubicle to the left and startled Selene who was staring at the strip in disbelief. "I'm so screwed," she screamed at herself silently. "It's all his fault! I hate him!! What the hell am I supposed to do?" Selene felt a rage brewing in the pit of her stomach. Her mind was racing with all its might. Then... Suddenly, she began to sob uncontrollably. She was downright anxious about this affecting her supposed promotion.

Su Lyn was shocked by the test result, but soon composed herself. In fact, she was secretly happy about it. She had always thought that she was infertile. "Perhaps... with this... He will marry me," she reckoned and smiled sheepishly. Her heart leapt in tingling anxiety as she whipped out her mobile. She had to see him NOW.

Darkness engulfed the bleak heartland sky. In the crowded little room, Shirley huddled beside the phone, trying to speak with her son. "Boy乖! 不可以哭! 妈咪现在不可以回去. 妈咪要赚钱买奶粉给Boy喝啊! Boy要听Ah Mah的话." Stubborn hot tears were streaming down her cheeks. "叫Ah Mah听." Shirley spoke in a low tone with her mother-in-law in hokkien and replaced the handset. Her husband was not home. Feeling helpless, she decided to destress by joining her brothers-in-law in the living room. Perhaps watching TV would help. She then reminded herself of her husband's words,"过几年... 把Kluang的房子供完,就不会那么辛苦了. 我们就可以搬回去了." Shirley patted her swollen bulge and said to her unborn child,"很快的! 我们要一起努力!"
....................................

新生命的降临 是祸 还是福？
有人欢喜 有人忧

新生命的开始 是权利 还是责任？
有时清楚 有时惑

活着 是为了他人而存在 还是自己的梦？

有梦 是否一定就是自私？
为了他人 是否就一定无私？

Shirley walked past the shop at 8.30am and glanced at the display cabinet. "还在 leh!" she thought to herself as she spotted the familiar red outline. This "spot the red bag" ritual had brought a smile to her face every morning for the past few months. A secret which she shared with no one, but perhaps the bag. It had become a moment which she could savour all by herself. But Shirley was feeling guilty about her secret ritual that Tuesday because her mother had called last night and told her that her 17 month old son was down with a high fever. Her brows knitted and she hurried away.

At times, Shirley wished she had not come to Singapore. She wished she had stayed in Kluang all her life. "这里钱 比较多，烦恼也多," she lamented as she stroked her customer's face with a handful of serum. "Wouldn't your baby miss you?" asked the customer. "起初会啊! 后来我跟他说妈咪要去赚钱买奶粉, 他就会了," she proclaimed while beaming with pride.

A massive headache engulfed Selene at around 11am amidst a rather intense meeting. "I must concentrate," she thought indignantly. "She's not going to win this time," The nemesis sat opposite her coolly. Selene hated her obtrusive guts, her sultry face, and that ridiculous body at the age of 33. "I'm better than her. I have to be!"

"Shall we have dinner tonight?" Su Lyn swiftly thumbed at her sleek mobile then placed it squarely beside her keyboard. As she worked, she stole involuntary glances at her mobile. "Why no answer?" she thought. "Maybe he's in a meeting." Outside her office, the clerks were chatting away noisily, exchanging notes on primary school enrollment.

1pm and Selene was still in the office. A colleague walked past her cubicle and asked if she wanted to go for lunch. Without looking up from her screen, Selene shook her head and muttered something softly. She was not feeling too well. Her stomach felt bloated and there was a bitter taste in her mouth. She thought of her bed and yearned to snuggle in it right now, but she had to finish this. She did not like the idea that Miss Sultry might beat her to it. With the last sip of her coffee, she dived into her report.

Her mobile finally gave a familiar short buzz. With one hand on the wheel, Su Lyn groped for it in her huge handbag on the passenger seat. It was him. Su Lyn could not hide her smile. He had just finished work and was off to a nearby watering hole for a quick drink. The 11.30pm traffic was sparse. The roads were lonely. More calm than lonely, she thought as she drew a long deep breath. Her black BMW stopped at the junction. She was first in line, just like back in school. But now, there was nothing and no one behind her. She was just alone.

Counting down to the traffic light turning green, her forearm twitched. "Maybe I can go wait for him outside his place," Su Lyn contemplated. He would probably not get home in another 2 hours. She would have to wait. She had already waited for the past week. "Waiting for a couple of hours would not be unreasonable," she rationalised while the wheel made a sharp right turn.

"I felt so sick today. It must have been her presence at the meeting," complained Selene to her husband as she massaged the potions into her skin at midnight. "She's so disgusting that I lost my appetite!" Her husband wiped his face in the towel and sucked in his minty breath. "You didn't eat anything? That's not good. Are you on your diet again?" With that, Selene moved back from the mirror to examine her profile. "I think I put on weight again. My face is bloated. I need lipo!" she exclaimed. "Anyway... I must get that promotion next year. I need... WE need the money, right?" He couldn't hear her as he was absorbed in his latest car magazine.
...................................................................

偷偷做的梦
是刺激的 是甜蜜的 更是秘密的

梦境里的我
是寂寞的 是空虚的 更是完美的

渴望 哪个善心的 尽早拯救我
抱紧我

The train, bursting at its seams, was rumbling at 80kph on a nondescript Monday morning. Contagious yawns rippled through the cabins like an endless Kallang Roar. The familiar lifeless voice echoed over the public announcement system,"Next stop, Raffles Place Interchange... Passengers..." and the train eased to a halt. Behind the closed doors, human bodies were shuffling to prepare for a quick exit.

Amongst the crowd was Selene. At 8.50am, she clutched her structured Louis Vuitton bag in light brown motifs and coffee-coloured leather, and stood up from her warm seat. She had been on the train for 40 minutes. She simply abhorred taking the train but until the newly weds could afford a car, she would have to put up with the 13-station ride everyday. However, there was always a silver lining in every Selenean cloud. Despite her absolute abhorrence of the train ride, she adored the walk from the train station, through the underground links, to the building where her office was located. The short 5-minute walk allowed her to strut in her carefully chosen outfit everyday, especially the pair of ultra sleek 3.5-inch high stiletto, and ipod-infused MTV prologue every morning. She couldn't decide which was her favourite; the strain of striding felt in her butt cheeks, or the feeling that everyone in the train station, the underground link and the office lift was eying her in envy. As she smoothened her chemically coloured and enhanced curls, and checked herself out in the reflection of the train window, the deafening clatter of heels on the marble floor of Raffles Place Station drowned her early morning thoughts.

Peering from the other side of the glass wall, Shirley had her gaze dead-fixed on the red Louis Vuitton clutch bag about the size of brick at 8.40am. "真的很美 leh!" she thought to herself once again while patting her slight bulge in the lower portion of her torso. "Aiyah... 不要想啦... 2nd hand 还是太贵," the little voice in her head went as she turned to walk in the direction of the spa. This was her second pregnancy. Though it had been much more comfortable than her first, Shirley did not like to tempt Fate. She thanked the gods that she didn't have to stop working like the last time.

9.10am. Selene sat lightly onto her chair and reached for the start button on her PC. The large diamond on her ring finger sparkled proudly. She made a mental note that she had 2 outstanding issues to be tackled, i.e. (A) to call Bee Nee from Audit and (B) to discuss this month's figures with the Boss. Meanwhile, she glanced at her colleague's desk and thought,"Ahhh... She's on leave. That gives me some space to fix the figures with the boss in private." Removing the slightly stained plastic lid from the white styrofoam cup, she took a careful sip of her daily morning ritual. Somehow, it tasted a little strange. Just a little less enjoyable.

By 3pm, Su Lyn was famished. The coffee she had in the morning had eaten through her guts. "Come... Let's go for a quick bite," the 30 year old partner of one of the most profitable law firms in Singapore told her intern over the phone. Between mouthfuls of sandwich and soup, Su Lyn asked the intern about his aspirations. "Frankly speaking, after this internship, I am not sure whether I want to continue in Conveyancing," he said with a generous dose of earnest 20 year-old honesty. "Maybe I will consider Shipping or Corporate. I am still thinking about it." Su Lyn smiled and stared into the space just beside his right ear. "Everyone wants to be in Corporate," she said.
...............................................

得不到的 永远最美最好
就是喜欢追求这辈子得不到的

凌乱的脚步声中 我听到了你破碎的梦
再走快一点 可能赶得上那趟已经离境的回忆

Yesterday, 'Good Fren' and I went to Funan to look for the laptop. We saw everything you have recommended, and more in Funan.

This Sony Vaio boy is really funny!!!


After 1 hour, we were left with 2 choices...

*drum roll, please*


In any case, we are still undecided lah...
This is a really tough decision! I think it's worse than buying a car!

Incidentally, we chanced upon a really awkward looking establishment amidst the digitech overload Funan Mall.
This is Cafe de Amigo. I thought it's Mexican, but it turned out to be either French or Italian?! I is confused.



Sitting by the window, we faced the back of the stoic Treasury building. I did a little wave, just in case the Ministers were looking.


Meanwhile, we noticed a weird phenomenon. There was a gathering of about 20 people, only 1 female, at the other corner of the restaurant. They were not dining. Just chatting away, as if they were waiting for something to happen. The lady with the file and papers (left most in the pic) went around to mark attendance and gave out some forms for people to fill up.

I was so excited! I thought it was one of those dating things?!! 'Good Fren' kept telling me that they didn't look like they needed any help.

'Good Fren' was right. It was not a dating thing.
In fact, it's a Master Sommelier Accreditation course!
Cool eh!

So we turned our attention back to the food.

I must say the food was very good!
The deep fried cheese on the right is excellent with some wine!!


As usual, 'Good Fren' had the lamb. I was a little adventurous, I went for the oxtail. Super yummy in both instances.


The meal ended off on an appropriately sweet note.
The apple pie with ice cream is a must-try! The pie is light and warm. Very comforting on a weekend afternoon.


On the way home, I was feeling comfortably bored and inspired by the wonderful sights in the Civic District.
Trigger-happiness took over.


Central Fire Station


The Armenian Church


They are finally doing up this gorgeous forgotten building. Hope they keep the green windows.


Asian Civilisations Museum


Alone outside the Museum on a Saturday afternoon.


Singapore Management University.
The building seems to be saying, "One day, I will be as famous as NYU."


National Museum of Singapore


The sculpture which looks like a crumpled piece of left-over.


The School of the Arts
A symbol of legitimacy for any first world city wannabe.


Church of Christ of Malaya


I could do such weekends, every weekend, till my last breath. It's so easy to cruise along in this sedate ride, and just watch the world zip past silently.

This is not going to work.
It cannot be a long term solution.

One morning in the office, one of the younger ones commented that I must have done something to my hair because the colour has become significantly lighter. (You may wish to refer the pic of me in the blog header)

Sidetrack a little:
I was about to conclude that 'young people nowz-a-dayz are so outspoken and brash', then I realised that such conclusions are not merely about 1 party.
I believe the 'older' generation tends to conclude in this manner because they feel a generation gap (e.g. difference in opinion, expression etc) but are neither able to rationalise nor deal with it effectively (because changes in values are neither rational nor easy to deal with).
Hence, the simplest conclusion is that the younger ones are rude, lousy, silly, i.e. anything inferior.

Once again, I digress...

Coming back to the youngster's comment on my hair colour... It reminded me of a little episode I had with 'Good Fren'.

(In the elevator with harsh downlights and mirrors)

BM: Baby! How come my hair is not black or dark brown? I want dark hair! You see? *holds out hair in his face* It's brown! It's even lighter under the sun! And you see here? *shows* It even comes with streaks of lighter brown!! I've had them eversince I was a kid!!
GF: That just means... You are a Natural Born Ah Lian!!

I always thought being Ah Lian was all in the head (mind).
Now I know the Ah Lian stripes are ON the head. And one doesn't necessarily have to earn them. They may come naturally.

Ok, I'm thinking of getting a laptop (coz the Mac ain't versatile enough).

The laptop needs to have the following features:

1. Chio (Preferably Black)
   
2. Light
3. Powerful (for the purpose of movie-editing, not gaming)
4. Big screen (at least A4-size + matte screen. i dislike those highly reflective screens)
5. Wifi
6. Runs on Windows, please!

Any suggestions?
Please also highlight price and retail location.

Thanks!

Some guy (whom I shall not name) commented that divorced women ought to be more attractive than married ones or singles. Though he was unable to explain clearly why, he did say,"I dunno how to explain it, but they (divorced women) are like Stifler's Mum."

HOOOOOO... KAAAAAAYYY...

I dun get the comparison but I think I get the drift.
It's probably along the lines of...
(CAUTION: HUGE ASSUMPTIONS AHEAD!!)
Divorced women have been through shite, and so are less likely to be associated with 'immature' characteristics, e.g. being a needy little girl, and are more likely to be 'experienced' in more ways than one.

Then what about divorced men?
Are they more 'sexy' or 'attractive' than married ones or singles?

Anyway... So hor... If a divorce is a subset of the larger umbrella term 'break up' (just a little messier, legally-speaking), people (women) who have had more breakups ought to be classified as *gasp* Stifler's Mum?!

I cannot write this entry anymore... I think I am unable to comprehend this at all...
I just think that it's silly to append any kind of 'value', regardless positive or negative, to marital status. People are merely bearers of character. That is what we ought to be looking out for. Neither a badge, nor a title.

I am appalled by the following conclusion I've come across:

In the Love Game, there are 4 types of people and being lower in the list renders one to be more 'loser-ish':

1. Have gotten married
2. Have found a steady partner
3. Ever dated but never in long term relationships
   
4. Never dated

While I must admit that having a real partner is probably the greatest gift one can ever ask for, it is not true that being married = winner!!
In response to another's painful breakup and subsequent emotional/mental imbalance, someone actually said,"Heng ah!! Luckily I'm married!!"

It is really possible that some marriages are merely empty shells made up of 2 individuals who follow social norms blindly and/or are in denial. It is also possible that there are people who prefer not to be in any permanent relationships or emotionally-close to another.

As if getting that piece of paper from ROM = + 1000 charisma points?! Nice try!

.................................................

On a related topic, we were having a discussion with a friend on how the recent spike in dating services is unlikely to increase the incidence of fruitful couplehood, because the root problem is usually not about 'mating dating opportunities', but with (A) first impressions and probably (B) inability and/or unwillingness to accommodate another in one's life world.

We reckon this means that the 'patient' requires huge amounts of grooming/counseling which will probably be highly cost-ineffective and overly labour-intensive. The aim is to minimise capital outlay/resources and maximise volume! It's far easier to just set him/her up for 'dates' with full knowledge that it ain't gonna work, then charge him/her again for a 'second chance', a 'third chance' and more. Maybe can even get the 'patient' to sign up for packages, i.e. buy more dating opportunities at a bulk discount like a spa package. Sign up for a 20-date package and get 5 dates FREE! First 200 applicants are entitled to a complimentary makeover at XXX salon to increase their 'love chances'!

Or perhaps the business model is such that if you pair up enough people who are keen enough to get hitched, something is bound to happen, then cite that as a positive example. Sponsor their wedding gown. Get them to come back and give inspirational talks to the hopefuls.

I've met enough people who have been unsuccessful in love or have had unsuccessful love lives to confidently conclude that it's almost always about (i) identifying blind spots/significant faults and (ii) having the will to fix them. These blind spots/faults are usually not unfamiliar to the individual. Their mothers, siblings, ex-spouses and close friends (if they are lucky enough) have probably pointed them out at some point in their lives, but it's clearly been too painful/tedious to change them, i.e. struggle amidst the change. So the question is:



We all make choices.
Just got to learn to live with them.

'Good Fren' met up with a long lost friend this afternoon and came back really late in the evening with this.

GF: BABY! *passes the gift to BM* Happy Valentine's Day!! I think you will like it!!
BM: FWAH!!! Present for me?!! *checks out the wrapping* BABY!!! The wrapping paper is very nice!! Your taste has improved!!
GF: =_=


EH?!! What's this?!!


Black Cat Vs Black Cat.


'Good Fren' says it's a massaging (vibrating) back cushion for use when I blog!

After showing me how the cushion works (you turn it on by squeezing one of the white stumps), he proceeded to announce that he bought both our Valentine's Day presents. I was like... HUH?!

That's when the main item showed up...

I think he likes his VD present very much... Coz as I am blogging... You should hear his new game rumbling just behind me!!

You know... I suspect he bought the game first, felt guilty, then decided to buy me something...
Noo Nee Noo Nee Noo...

'Good Fren' fetched me from work last evening. First thing he said sheepishly when I got in the car was,"I didn't get you anything!" He then proceeded to describe how flowers were being sold at his office but he refused to succumb to gifts of convenience.

And somehow, we made our way here...


Taking probably the oldest lift in Singapore.



At the 'lomantic' Raffles Hotel...

Raffles Hotel is a time warp zone. Time comes to a standstill. Even the air smells different. But somehow I thought it has lost part of its glory. It is in dire need of a great makeover. Like how estate jewelery is restored.

Nonetheless, one would imagine that a Valentine's Day dinner at Raffles Hotel to be super befitting. A candlelight dinner. Menu probably starts with some foie gras, and ends with a really sweet dessert. Of course, not forgetting loads of honeyed wine to induce the adoration.

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But because 'Good Fren' and I were feeling super anti-thesi(s)-cal this year...
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We ended up in a Chinese Restaurant, i.e. Royal China, ordering off the DONG DONG CHANG Chinese New Year menu?!!

We even had YU SHENG to complete the CNY experience, can?!!


'Good Fren' kept doing the muted 'HUAT AH!!! HUAT AH!!!' as we tossed the Yu Sheng in the most un-Valentine's Day manner. I couldn't stop laughing!

GF: *toss toss toss* HUAT AH!!! HUAT AH!!!
BM: *toss toss toss* Hee Hee Hee!!!
GF: *toss toss toss* HUAT AH!!! HUAT AH!!!
BM: *toss toss toss* Hee Hee Hee!!!
GF: *toss toss toss* HUAT AH!!! HUAT AH!!!
BM: *toss toss toss* Baby! Can oredi!
GF: *toss toss toss* HUAT AH!!! HUAT AH!!!
BM: *toss toss toss* BABY!!! CAN OREDI!!! STOP!!!
GF: *toss toss toss* HUAT AH!!! HUAT AH!!!

The lady who helped with the Yu Sheng must have thought that we were weird. Side Note: This Yu Sheng is really good.

And my VD gift was not from 'Good Fren' but from Royal China. At the end of dinner, we were presented with this pretty satin bag containing 2 oranges.


So, how was your Valentine's Day?
Happy or not? =)))

Ohhh... Who's that?!!


It's a new addition, the Gingerbread Man!!
He's supposed to be a pet toy. You know the type for pets to abuse in their always free time?

But Blinky and Tiger dun give a damn about him. Tiger doesn't like the loud squeak he makes when you squeeze his tummy.

So now, he's part of my collection.


And no... He is not a VD gift... I will blog about our VD tomorrow.

This saga is ridiculous!

I read somewhere that Edison Chen has 'attempted suicide' by refusing food. I think it's totally bullshitty reporting. If he hasn't been eating, it's probably because he's been having a really lousy time and doesn't have any appetite.

Seriously, Edison should cheer up. He has no idea how many times people, especially males, in the past week and around the world have gone,


Then proceed to bitch about how stupid he is, e.g. dunno how to encrypt his PC, other 'macho' tech shite and probably make some lame comments on his dick.

WATEVER!! Sour grapes!!

So, if Edison is reading this... Go eat something and move on.

The chicks shouldn't feel too bad either.
There are so many former soft porn actresses who have been 'accepted' by the masses, the most prominent being Shu Qi. Vivian Hsu too, if I am not mistaken.
Adopt a different perspective.
If the pics were of known soft porn stars, the ruckus would not have been so exaggerated. It's just sequencing. No biggie.

Related Thought:
What if it was 1 chick and a few guys? Or old people? Or not so good looking people?
Just by permutating the scenarios a little, you will realise that we are full of prejudices.

Amongst the protagonists of this recent saga, Cecilia Cheung is the one I feel especially bad for.
I mean... give her a break lah... She went through some really bad times earlier (eating disorder, depressed/emotionally unstable etc). Furthermore, she just had a kid. Give her some time to steady herself.

People can be really cruel, yeah?

Monday night, in the loo...

BM: *halfway through teeth-brushing ritual* Eh... Valentine's Day is this week?!
GF: *removing contact lens* Uh... Huh...
BM: 你这次出什么 pattern?
GF: *sulking* I have been very busy hor!! No time for any... Then you leh? Watcha gonna do for me?!
BM: But... But... But... 每年出 pattern 是你, not me hor!!

Sigh...
Looks like... the Honeymoon Period has long expired...
随便吃一盘鸡饭就算庆祝情人节了 lor...

Read this article?


"Taiwan is not alone. Japan, Hong Kong and the fast-growing areas of coastal China all have their own versions of home boys. They use the Internet to construct an alternative reality, where fantasy characters and digital games trump domestic responsibilities and the formation of relationships."

"«Many 30-year-olds still have the mentality of children who want to rely on their parents' care and financial support,» he said. «They're not ready to get married and fulfill family duties.»

It's not so much that they hate women, the young men say; it's just that women ignore, reject or betray them. And rather than pining away in private, they prefer to gather electronically with fellow sufferers and bind their wounds by talking about anything except the hurtful side of love."

I am not so sure whether those who have gotten married/had children have truly grown up either, but I know many who have indulged in such enslaving cycles whether it's cyber gaming, gambling, or serial dating. These are simply addiction to activities which provide uncomplicated gratification.

Some guy explains to me that gaming is 'portable' and 'can be put down/picked up' anytime he wants. One does not stop when one gets killed in DOTA even though that results in a loss of cyber gold, because it's after all easier than repeatedly trying at 'daunting' tasks like excelling at work, maintaining a long term relationship etc. Too few winners in the latter. The Flesh Life is too random and complex, and probably too lonely for one to want to win in it.

In other words, because many around you are not excelling at work, not in any long term relationship, and gaming all the time, you tell yourself, "You see... It's ok!" and continue to monster-kill your equally lonesome buds in hope to feel better about oneself.

Furthermore, the malaise need not be visible. E.g. Staying with the folks is visible. However, staying with the folks need not be parasitic. One could stay apart from the folks and still be parasitic in monetary and emotional terms. Hence, the malaise in this case is invisible. But of course, such relationships are 'symbiotic', i.e. it takes 2 for the relationship to exist. Someone has to give and/or not prevent taking, before the other can take and consume.

And these days, it has become increasingly difficult to decide whether the act of giving and taking is inherently 'bad' because (1) modern life demands a lot more than what one can afford, and (2) it so happens that the elder generation has quite a bit to give. The intended consequence is for one's own offspring not to 'lose out' to others. The unintended consequence is addiction to dependency.

And the popular 'solution'?
Some kind of existential wait for a happy ending.
Passing time in hope to exchange for emancipation at the end.

We have once again constructed a cage for ourselves. This time, we shun the iron cage in exchange for a cyber cage which can look like anything we want it to be. In choosing the latter, we tell ourselves, it's better.

Seriously?!! Some of you really did try to cut the 春 for your CNY oranges!!!

My ex colleague smsed to inform me that his wife (who reads my blog) cut some for their oranges. I demand to see a pic of it!

Then a reader, Michelle, sent me this pic of her attempt!

I think it's a very good attempt!
Comes across as a cute Botero interpretation of the 春.

No need to round the centre stem entirely, if you know what I mean...

I remember submitting an entry for the naming competition for her second offspring, later to be known as Hong Bao.

Some may have read Reuter's recent article titled,"Chinese New Year Exodus Exposes Singapore Generation Gap".

Here's a flavour of the article:

"I don't care for the traditions and won't be visiting my relatives. I only see them once a year during Chinese New Year -- where's the connection there?" said one 25-year old student, who declined to be named and was bound for Hong Kong.

"It's a drag to visit people whom I hardly see in the year. I'd rather spend time with people I'm closer to. Some youngsters are just going visiting to receive the 'ang pao'," he said, referring to the red paper envelopes of money given by relatives.

Travel agent after travel agent confirms the trend.

Rather than spending New Year at home with extended families in what is traditionally the year's one guaranteed family reunion, Chinese Singaporeans, some 77 percent of the population, are fleeing their New Year in droves.

Opting out of cultural rituals to instead travel to hotspots such as Bangkok, Hong Kong, Vietnam and Taiwan is the Year of the Rat's hot ticket trend, despite seasonal price hikes.

"Last year they booked at the last minute, but this year all the tickets had been sold by January, so there is nothing else to sell now," said Steven Chan, manager at Giamso International Tours, one of dozens of Chinatown travel agencies.

Why of all phenomena to report, Reuters chooses the above, puzzles me.

Regardless, I do observe that the Chinese New Year festive period has become more of a dilemma for some. Let's examine some of these features:

(A) Chinese New Year's Eve ~ Reunion Dinner
This starts even before Chinese New Year. It starts on Chinese New Year Eve, a time for families to reunite (which explains the recent stampede in Guangzhou, killing a female who will not make it home this time). This mad mad rush drives up prices and stresses public infrastructure to the max. But every single year, people will do it again and again.

The reunion dinner, consisting of ostensibly good food and family warmth (2 huge assumptions there...), comes with a huge guilt trip. It is unthinkable to not turn up for this dinner, unless you have a really good reason such as "We are on a vacation... Not to JB but somewhere we have to fly to!"

It's also scary to think about how a married individual ought to prioritise the dinner schedule, i.e. going to the in-law's dinner before/after one's parents'?

After that, it's about money. Which child with income pays (for dinner, for parents' pocket money etc) and how much. Of course, in larger families, the above becomes a platform for rivalry.

(B) The Visit - 1st Day of Chinese New Year
Traditionally, the same bunch of people will get together within less than 12 hours to wish the elderlies in the family good luck, health and all sorts of good luck. This is also when the unmarried family members receive blessing in form of monied packets from the married.

How many times have I heard married but childless couples complain about 'losing money' during the Chinese New Year period? I was told today that some people assess the likely amount given by the other before whipping out their own packets to 'match the market price'. Giving too little may result in loss of face, while giving too much may render one feel like he had overpaid. It's the family-friendly game theory in action.

In addition, because some family members are unfamiliar with one another (meeting up only once a year, or more if someone dies) and/or socially/conversationally-handicapped, singles and childless couples are usually the subjects of interrogation. While it will be deemed as rude to attempt any explanation apart from a smile, one hopes for the evolution of social norms to speed up determining such questions as rude.

Favourite complaints amongst teenagers are that of adults doing the "How old are you? Which school are you at? Do you have a boyfriend? Blah Blah Blah..."
I must admit that I am guilty of that too. Because (1) I am really interested in what young people are doing these days, and mainly because (2) I cannot start a discussion thread on "Don't you just hate these gatherings?" in the presence of the elders.

After some awkward moments, someone will switch on the TV, put on a DVD and/or transform part of the space into an Integrated Resort (From Blackjack to Mahjong... Gaming funds are provided by the Red Packets... Drinks and snacks included...)

Then two-three hours later, the little sweaty children will start to cry/fight (similar to adults but the latter restrain themselves a little more), and that's the cue for all to start going home. Till next year!! Happy New Year!!
...........................................................

It is seriously sad to only get together for a meal or visit because it goes by the name of tradition. It's like we dunno why we are getting together. It's always cool to get together with people you like (regardless whether they are family), but spare the guilt trip and the stupid competition for Our Family's Next Top Filial Child/Grandchild. I wonder how many centuries it will take for this to become commonsense. Meanwhile, people will continue to run away from these senseless and demanding festive gatherings.

Btw, I think the optimum size for a high utility gathering is about 8 adults with at least 60% familiar with one another. Anything beyond that requires loads of space, alcohol and music to mute the awkwardness.

Personally, I prefer small groups of 3-4 people with inquisitive minds and alcohol fancy. One will be very lucky if such a group can be filled with family members.

Since we are on the topic... You can watch this video and attempt to decorate your oranges before tomorrow. =P
If not, there's always next year!


After reading this... Try to have a

Last night, we brought my grandfather out for a pre-Chinese New Year dinner at some Chinese restaurant. My grandfather actually had to 'take leave' from the hospital, booking out at 6pm and booking in by 10pm. Think my mother spoke with the hospital about indenting an oxygen tank.

But we didn't need it. Grandfather looked rather happy. Coughed quite a bit and ate a lot! Even more than me! (I had this nagging thought that it was a sign or something... =_=) His children got rather concerned when he reached out for a glass of red, and only drew sighs of relief when he didn't fancy the weird siup siup ang moh wine... where's the nv er hong or oxtard?! =P

On and off, I will put together such dinners for the elders in my family. Started when I got my first pay check in Yr 2000. I fondly remember telling one of my aunts after footing the bill that I was prepared to go on a diet of bread and plain water for at least 1 month after that meal. HAHA... She then offered to buy me a present in return. Elders are weird.

These family dinners make great sociological inquisitions. And every time, I will walk away from them more convinced than before that the concept of 'family' is undoubtedly contrived.

I mean... Seriously... the silly self-denial aside... How many families can achieve a consistent 100%-harmony ratio? Or even get close to it?

It's just difficult to get everyone together... even for a meal... in a truly happy manner... without vested interest and/or egoistic sarcasm... darting across the table. And after the dinner, some go home and bitch/sulk behind closed doors... Till the next dinner... It's like a twisted purging cycle.

Group dynamics (family, work, society, countries, world etc) are as such... It just takes 1 player to spoil the coherence... After that, it's up to the rest whether they wanna do something about it or deny it. Human beings just cannot get along. Yet, they yearn to belong.

I used to take an extremely binary stand, i.e. if you don't play by the rules, you are out. Don't waste everyone's time. Then I realise that (1) the rules are highly subjective and (2) not everyone in the group, regardless of effort, is able to understand and/or interpret the rules accurately.

I seriously doubt that there will ever be a permanent solution. Differences in opinion, interest, values etc and most importantly, EGO - fueled by perceived 'rights', always spoil it for everyone.

Having realised the above, how does one navigate this maze and war zone to ensure that everyone progresses together?!
This is not about altruism. This 'progress together-ness' is merely a practical conclusion, because those left behind will inevitably try to sabotage those in front if a gap is perceived.

siong...

Perhaps it is better to keep such roles within the professional realm and not the personal realm.

Where's my wine?
Maybe I'll educate my Grandfather on the merits of the red wine in the absence of his children and hospital staff one day.