Tuesday, 14 May 2013

'Good Fren' and I Got Married... some time ago...

It's really cute that I keep seeing people searching for "blinkymummy good friend married"!

Alright... Here's the official blog entry...

After 6 years together (inclusive of 5 years of living together), 'Good Fren' and I got ourselves legally married in 2011.

Qn: Why get married at all?

Getting legally married is an unavoidable step in the larger scheme of things which we plan to achieve, i.e. getting our new place, having a kid etc. Without the marriage certificate, we wouldn't be able to use both our CPF for the new place. Without the marriage certificate, any kid would be... erm... illegitimate. You get the pic.

So getting officially married is more like an administrative detail. And it certainly felt like one throughout the highly rationalised and highly efficient process. In fact, the day we had to wait in line at Registry of Marriages to swear and stuff, we felt like we were at some statutory board, waiting to pay a fine.

Qn: Did you have a wedding? Where and when did it take place?

If you mean 'wedding' as in the entire ruckus of getting an elaborate lacy gown and expensive suit made, tonnes of studio and outdoor pics taken, having a gaggle of 'brothers' and 'sisters' haggling for the bride and playing silly ragging-like games outside my family house's gate, tea ceremony, wedding dinner with as many people as possible at some hotel venue with as many stars as possible, for the entire episode to be dotted with as many flowers, cupcakes, smiles, lovely words etc as possible... then the answer is a simple 'NO'.

In fact, we had such a minimalist(ic) ceremony that even the Justice of Peace was surprised.

Initially, we had wanted to get it over and done with at ROM, but we couldn't find a date early enough. (Remember that this is an administrative step in the bigger scheme of things, e.g. we needed the marriage certificate for legal documentation purposes.) So we went for the next best alternative, i.e. find a Justice of Peace and do it outside of ROM.

Minimum requirements are in fact rather simple. You need to have done most of the paperwork online + verification at ROM, book a ROM venue, secure a Justice of Peace, invite 2 witnesses (must be human and above 21 years old), and of course, make sure the bride and groom turn up.

As such, we booked ourselves a quiet little private dining room at a Chinese restaurant for a dinner for 4, secured a Justice of Peace, and invited 'Good Fren's best friend since his RI days and his partner to be our witnesses.

From inception to planning to execution of this ROM, it took about 3 months, not due to complexity coz there is none, but due to plain waiting. The most complex thing we did was to write the vows. I bought a dress for the occasion. 'Good Fren' wore his favourite suit and scrunched his own hair. I of course did my own hair and makeup, and put on my favourite pair of red shoes. Having walked through the same scent mist (I prefer male scents), we were ready.

On that weekday in November, we fetched the Justice of Peace from her condo to the restaurant, waited for our witnesses to arrive, read our vows to each other, and had dinner.

The Justice of Peace insisted on a kiss during the ROM prep. We were like... Yhew! Too weird! But we eventually obliged during the ROM. Social pressures. =)

Qn: Har?! What about your parents, family, friends??

Erm... Apart for those involved in the process, no one else knew about the ROM. This is to avoid complications. =)

Subsequently, because of mandatory report of change in marital status to the employer, we decided to inform family, friends and colleagues of our union via a card.

We got quite a few reactions by sending out the cards. Ranging from the usual well wishes to hilarious exclamations such as "Eh? Why no makan??" Some people were apologetic coz they thought they had misread the card and missed the wedding. LOL!! =))

Qn: Has getting married changed anything?

Apart from having to remember to check the 'married' box when filling up forms, there really isn't a huge change. We have been living together as a couple for years. Will signing on a legal document improve or worsen the quality of our relationship?

The answer is: No.

And yes... it's still weird referring to 'Good Fren' as 'my husband'.

Qn: What did you do on your 1st anniversary?

We forgot about it.
I was in school and he was at work, until we picked up the kid from infant care. Just like any other day these days.

As a "Part 2", you can read "The Labour Story". LOL!!


Blur Ting said...

I asked about a photo of you in a wedding gown and you said it was for a photo shoot or modeling assignment. I suspected you were getting married!

Blinkymummy Lee said...

Huh? What wedding gown? When?

Deleted said...

Hey we think alike here!

oahiz_wanders said...

yeah agree one thing abt the banquets. its one of the most no-win situations ever created. guests need to pay over the odds, u need to rush ard, in the end the hotel earns everything and providing substandard food and service.

Blur Ting said...

Yes, there was a photo of you in your blog sometime back. In a wedding gown!

Blinkymummy Lee said...

Issit? You mean I've prepared a wedding dress for myself? How come I dunno?!

Me in a wedding gown?!!

Anonymous said...

I remember too... i think the photoshoot session is somewhere at the new apartments in Rochester/Buona Vista vicinity...

Blinkymummy Lee said...

That was a tv ad shoot la!